Mistress Dispeller

So suppose you find out that your husband is cheating on you – what do you do? If you’re a disgruntled wife living in China, you might want to consider hiring a “mistress dispeller,” a sort of “marriage fixer” who employs an unconventional combination of counseling and skillful clandestine manipulation to urge an unfaithful man to turn away from his philandering and return to a life of fidelity, essentially a “whatever it takes” approach. The methods used is this newly emerging profession may seem rather sneaky – if not unethical – in some respects, but, if it provides the parties in question with valuable advice and, in turn, manages to save what has been an otherwise-stable partnership, should its merits be automatically ruled out of hand? That’s one of the key considerations examined in this surprisingly intimate documentary from writer-director Elizabeth Lo. When middle-aged Mrs. Li begins to suspect that Mr. Li may be having an affair with a younger woman, she’s initially dumbstruck, not to mention profoundly hurt and suitably furious, by his actions. She’s convinced that her marriage is over, but is it? When her younger brother recommends that she consult with Wang Zhenxi, a professional mistress dispeller, to see if she can restore their marriage, Mrs. Li decides to give it a try. Working with both spouses and, eventually, the mistress, Fei Fei, “Teacher Wang” steers the parties in the desired direction of helping each of them get in touch with the feelings driving their actions. Teacher Wang’s work addresses the scenario from several angles, including psychology, cultural expectations, and the widespread sense of isolation and disaffection impacting many individuals and couples in modern-day China. In that regard, the film broadens the view behind what prompts infidelity among Chinese adults, concerns that the dispeller works into her counseling efforts to encourage couples to save their relationships and to help make third parties aware that becoming involved with a married individual is ultimately likely to result in unavoidable heartache. So is that really such a bad thing? Viewers are liable to have different perspectives on these tactics, but, in watching this offering, they should be sure to bear in mind that they’re peering into a different culture with different sensibilities than what one might typically find in the West (and who are we to question its values)? Perhaps a bigger question here, though, are the ethics that have been employed in the making of this film. Some might readily see it as a serious invasion of privacy, one that could be looked upon as exploitative as well. However, as the filmmaker makes clear on several occasions over the course of the picture, everything was ultimately done with the complete consent of all parties involved (as implausible as that may seem at times, given that one might get the impression that this was all secretly scripted). Moreover, even with that acknowledgment, some might nevertheless see this release as a somewhat voyeuristic experience, not unlike staring at a bad car accident from which one can’t easily turn away. But, on the other hand, considering the apparently sincere, heartfelt feelings openly expressed here by Mr. and Mrs. Li and Fei Fei, perhaps their sentiments might provide a valuable example to couples in peril who would like to save their marriages but don’t necessarily know how. And isn’t there some value to be had in that kind of baring one’s soul? While the film certainly has its share of drama, it also has its lighter moments to keep the narrative from becoming suffocating, including touches of gentle comic relief, especially in its apparently intentionally cheesy, melodramatic operatic score. To be sure, some viewers may see “Mistress Dispeller” as cringeworthy, but some might also see it as commendable and inspirational to keep something valuable from unduly dissolving, and there’s genuinely something to be said for that.